Author Archives: Sterling Eisiminger

Sterling (Skip) Eisiminger was born in Washington D.C. in 1941. The son of an Army officer, he traveled widely but often reluctantly with his family in the United States and Europe. After he finished a master’s degree at Auburn and took a job at Clemson University in 1968, he promised himself that he would put down some deep roots. These roots now reach back through 40 years of red Carolina clay. In 1974, Eisiminger received a Ph. D. from the University of South Carolina, where poet James Dickey “guided” his creative dissertation. His publications include Non-Prescription Medicine (poems), Felix Academicus (personal essays), Omi and the Christmas Candles (a children’s book), and Wordspinner (word games). He is married to the former Ingrid (“Omi”) Barmwater, a native of Germany, and is the proud father of a son, Shane, a daughter, Anja, and grandfather to four grandchildren, Edgar, Sterling, Spencer, and Lena. Author Photo: Ingrid Eisiminger

Damn Proud: Evil

“Exactly what is this abstraction that haunts us? The literature is vast and complex. Augustine thought a man’s erection was a revolt against God. Eighteenth-century Shakers decided intercourse had been Eve’s original sin. Nineteenth-century Scottish Presbyterians thought eating potatoes was sinful because they’re not mentioned in the Bible.” —Skip Eisiminger Skip the B.S. By Skip […]

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Game Changers: Fear of Change

“Fear of the latest technology is often assumed without proof of harm. While it’s true that industrial robots have killed several people working around them, the fault in most cases was the human’s. And while robots were building robots as early as the 1980s, HAL isn’t wearing the pants just yet.” —Skip Eisiminger Skip the […]

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Stardust Sprinklers & SOBs: Grandparents

“The relatively recent appearance (c. 1920) of what I call the ‘third generation’ has led to the poverty of idioms and proverbs alluding to grandparents. ‘Grandfather clock’ is solidly ensconced even as the clocks are disappearing. But ‘Don’t teach your grandmother to suck eggs’ is making a rapid exit probably due to salmonella and plastic […]

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An Improbable Fiction: In the Language of Shakespeare

“Marry, young Russet. Now, don thy hooded cape incarnadine and hie thee to the forest o’er yon high eastward hill. Keep to the path no matter how the harebells beckon, and, I beseech you, beware the fantasied forest. There a wolf named Lupus dwells, swift as a shadow, and thus beggars all other description. Verily, […]

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The Farther You Go, the Better It Looks: Home

“Clark Gable is remembered as a thrice-divorced and five-time married screen actor, but he understood what ‘home’ meant: a place you approach knowing someone inside is listening for your footsteps. Whether it’s an over-priced Silicon Valley mansion or a canvas tent pitched on a raft, home is a place where your heart has been marinated […]

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Textile Conspirators vs. the Skyclad: Naked & Nude

“My father, a charter subscriber to ‘Playboy,’ who never discussed the ‘articles’ therein with anyone except his golfing friends, apparently feared he’d left a gap in my education. He took me, therefore, to the Folies-Bergère in Paris when I was a 19-year-old enlisted man. The two of us sat there nursing our drinks as a […]

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Stealing Home with One Foot on Third: Risk

“Actuarial tables show that far more pedestrians die in a crosswalk than jaywalking. Risk takers often cite those tables as justification for the chances they take. Of course, far more people cross city streets legally than illegally, so it stands to reason that more will die in the crosswalks. Moreover, many jaywalkers are doubly cautious […]

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“D. C.” Stands for “Da Capital”: Fools, Etc.

“The purest fooling is neither stupid nor ignorant; it’s wit, and it often strikes like lightning turning sand to glass.”—Skip Eisiminger Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “Ignorance, the lost part of ‘virginal,’/is a barefoot girl at a urinal.” —The Wordspinner “When Skip tries to learn what students don’t know,/the class goes still in a […]

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The Farther You Go, The Better It Looks: Home

“I grew up in a military family that moved 17 times in 17 years. Yet, like Huck, I always felt that our apartment, duplex, or house was a home because I was loved there. Eudora Welty argued that ‘one place understood helps us understand all the other places.’ In my case, 17 places helped me […]

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The Knotted Roots of a Marriage

“Having flown over Treblinka and snatched a few grapes from the Warsaw grapevine, he strongly suspected but could not confirm the horror. Occupying his mind were two brothers at two fronts, and a family huddled in a blacked-out basement in Magdeburg, an industrial city poised on the knife edge between Berlin and London. In 1945, […]

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