Author Archives: Sterling Eisiminger

Sterling (Skip) Eisiminger was born in Washington D.C. in 1941. The son of an Army officer, he traveled widely but often reluctantly with his family in the United States and Europe. After he finished a master’s degree at Auburn and took a job at Clemson University in 1968, he promised himself that he would put down some deep roots. These roots now reach back through 40 years of red Carolina clay. In 1974, Eisiminger received a Ph. D. from the University of South Carolina, where poet James Dickey “guided” his creative dissertation. His publications include Non-Prescription Medicine (poems), Felix Academicus (personal essays), Omi and the Christmas Candles (a children’s book), and Wordspinner (word games). He is married to the former Ingrid (“Omi”) Barmwater, a native of Germany, and is the proud father of a son, Shane, a daughter, Anja, and grandfather to four grandchildren, Edgar, Sterling, Spencer, and Lena. Author Photo: Ingrid Eisiminger

Be Not Conformed to This World: Eccentricity

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “There’s the son of Bertrand Russell who crocheted himself a pair of pants from a giant ball of string he’d saved. There’s Flannery O’Connor, at age six, teaching a chicken to walk backwards. There’s crossword editor Will Shortz creating and winning the first degree in enigmatology. And finally, there’s […]

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Ending Gladiatorial Combat: College Football & Basketball

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “The solution, I feel, lies in the separation of ‘church and state,’ or divorcing the revenue sports from the academy. I don’t favor abolishing the ‘Big Two,’ just ending the charade of the ‘scholar athlete.’ Under my proposal, these programs [college football and basketball] would effectively become ‘rent-paying tenants.’”—Skip […]

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Owning Up to the Avalanche: Responsibility

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “I never should have taken those kids across that thoroughfare without their mother’s explicit permission, even if the kids did look like orphans and it was their birthday. Hindus say, ‘Call on the Gods, but row away from the rocks.’ There were alternatives ‘away from the rocks’ that I […]

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The Dream of Sisyphus: Quitting

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “Before the light comes on, you must chop a lot of wood./Then the need for further chopping will be understood.”—The Wordspinner “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point being a damn fool about it.”—W. C. Fields CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—1/27/2014—I love the […]

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Dethroning Ourselves: Self-Righteousness

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “Our son was reminded of the time he and his high school teammates had taken the team bus to play an away game. When the baseballers returned, many were presented with a slip of paper by their star outfielder with all the swear words they had used on the […]

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The Esperanto of Science: The Metric System

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “Weavers had to know that three inches of yarn made a palm’s worth; three palms made a span; five spans made an ell; ninety-six ells made a skein, and 120 skeins made a spindle. Yet if there was a barleycorn’s worth of difference in that first inch, the length […]

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From David to Goliath: Physical Stature

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “Perhaps because I married a woman almost a foot shorter than I, I’ve never taken much pride in being tall, any more than I pride myself on being white or male. As the 7’ 7” Somali basket-baller Manute Bol quickly learned, in the NBA, one cannot succeed on height […]

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Many but Not All: The Great Seal

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “My old English teacher was not pulling anyone’s leg about the salad recipe; it’s in Virgil’s poem ‘Moretum.’ OK, maybe it wasn’t a Caesar salad, but the other two mottos on the Great Seal are drawn from pagan authors as well.” Skip Eisiminger “Never ignore the fascinating surface in […]

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God’s Competition: Genetic Engineering

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “The future of genetic engineering promises cartilage which can be injected into aching joints, the return of the wooly mammoth (but not T. Rex), Christmas trees that ‘naturally’ glow in the dark, and bacon containing Omega-3 fatty acids instead of saturated fat. Imagine pork grown in Petri dishes to […]

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Black & White Zebras in Lion-Colored Grass: The Absurd

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “In 2013, the visual absurd seems to be losing its impact since its origins in Europe during World War II. Perhaps the best known work by the Belgian surrealist René Magritte is his self-portrait with a Granny Smith apple suspended before his face. The Everyman of the cartoon universe […]

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