Author Archives: seisiminger

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger   “From the appearance of things on the Clemson campus, it seems that about half the student body is on the phone at any given time while the other half is wondering why no one ever calls. For all those on the phone or thumbing away at a text, [...]

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “In nature’s eyes, humans are as expendable as any of the 8.7 million species on the planet. And yet, is there another mammal who can do a back flip through a basketball net uninjured, take twelve strides across a lake’s surface without sinking, do a series of backflips on [...]

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “The older my ‘Presbyterian’ eyes get, the more I realize that the world, including my reflection in the mirror, looks a lot better when I take my glasses off. Indeed, it was Anton van Leeuwenhoek, maker of the first microscope, who proved that viewing something too closely has its [...]

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “Personally, I favor the example set by Charles Darwin who as a boy collected specimens of the Coleopteran order. Once, with a beetle in each hand and spotting a rare example of a third, he tossed the bug clasped in one hand into his mouth and grabbed the third [...]

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “The realm of student errors is a kaleidoscopic thicket where Mother Teresa achieves ‘St. Hood,’ bankers seek the ‘Notary Republic,’ Jesus is interrogated by ‘Poncho Pilate,’ and drug addicts kill for ‘morpheme tablets.’ In this alternate universe, ‘Bach has 20 kids and practices on a spinster in the attic,’ [...]

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “One anonymous prisoner, who’d come to grips with spending the rest of his life behind bars, told his interviewer, ‘Well, at least in here you always have the home-court advantage.’ This plucky observation led me to write a half-serious piece called ‘Finding the Silver Lining in a Cast-Iron Cell,’ [...]

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “Every time I take a walk or bike ride, I am thankful for the ‘body of God’ and man’s warm crease in it, but I gave up on the existence of a merciful deity many years ago. When I was a junior in college, an abnormal psychology class I [...]

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “Though gamblers will deny it, many are careless people. In 2007, when the Sands Casino in Atlantic City removed all the machines prior to demolishing the place, workers found over $17,000 scattered about on the floor. Gamblers may guardedly study the odds but, meanwhile, they have forgotten the baby [...]

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “. . . if you’ve ever learned ‘Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,’ you will doubtless recall that he ‘jumped over a candlestick.’ And if you ever listened to the exploits of ‘Old King Cole,’ you no doubt remember that he was ‘a merry old soul’ because rhyme has [...]

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “After some less than successful surgery a while back, I was frankly in a Biercian funk . . . . My naturally sunny self had been deposited in a fog bank. Six weeks after adjustments were made, however, my mood lightened. I never found the silver promised in the [...]