Author Archives: seisiminger

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Skip the B.S.  by Skip Eisiminger “Poke my bunny with a stick, Sir?”—Nick Downes “You’re a total sociopath, Ron. I like that in a man.”—Scott Adams CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—1/2/12—Clemson students are often perplexed by Edgar Poe’s narrator in “The Raven.” Most of them have grown up in middle-class homes with one or two parents [...]

Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “In the pun, two strings of thought are tangled into one acoustic knot.”—Arthur Koestler “Puns are the droppings of soaring wits.”—Victor Hugo CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—12/26/11—It all began quite innocently. One day Gudrun “Goody” Greef, found herself browsing for lingerie at Bare Assets; a few weeks later, she was [...]

Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.”—Exodus 22:18 Three hundred and nine years after five Salem women were hanged for witchcraft, they were exonerated by the governor and legislature of Massachusetts.—Various news sources, 2001 CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—12/19/11—Kia, the on-line “psychic witch,” invites visitors to park their broomsticks, [...]

Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “When dueling was legal, we were politer.”—Anonymous “When dueling was legal, we were meeker.”—The Wordspinner CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—12/12/11—I almost caused an accident recently listening to Dr. J. Rufus Fears lecturing on Julius Caesar. Dr. Fears is one of the Teaching Company’s star academics, but stellar as his credentials [...]

Skip the B.S.  by Skip Eisiminger “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.”—William Shakespeare’s Juliet “He said true things but called them by the wrong name.”—Elizabeth Barrett-Browning CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—12/5/11—Ever since the Christmas my wife and children gave me the Dictionary of Surnames [...]

Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger  “Writing by hand makes you more apt to hear the inner voice.”—John Updike “Writing words by hand is a technology that’s just too slow for our times and our minds.”—Anne Trubek CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—11/28/11—A graduate school professor convinced me that if I really wanted to understand Emily Dickinson’s [...]

Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Eve ate of the apple, enticed Adam to eat of it as well, and all of us, as a result, are rotten to the core.” —Arthur Krystal “But without Adam and Eve, we’d all be God’s schmucks.”—The Wordspinner CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—11/21/11—Sometimes, it’s a good idea to cast a [...]

Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Charles II slept through the sermon, but woke for Westminster’s great pipes.”—The Wordspinner “I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cow bells.”—Christopher Walken CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—11/14/11—In the sixth grade, I took violin from the band director at a public school in Falls Church, Virginia. If [...]

Skip the B.S.  by Skip Eisiminger “A new industry [photography] has arisen which contributes much to confirming stupidity in its faith and to ruining what might have remained of the divine in the French genius.”—Charles Baudelaire “[Photographs] are magic things that traffic in mystery. They float on the surface, yet they have a strange life [...]

Skip the B.S.  by Skip Eisiminger “Fearsome chess masters fear the fearlessness of Deep Fritz.”—The Wordspinner “Roll over Beethoven, dig these rhythm and blues.”—Chuck Berry CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—10/31/11—Several bad calls in the 2010 World Cup sent tremors through the soccer world. Sepp Blatter, the Luddite president of FIFA, soccer’s governing agency, at first claimed [...]