I Whip My Big Girl Car Back & Forth
“Honestly, if you’ve never taken your BGC on a road trip, then you really haven’t driven. There’s nothing like a 700—1,000 mile road trip. My BGC floated through those NY, PA, MD, WV, VA, and NC-to-SC miles like southbound cirrus clouds gliding swiftly towards serenity.”—F. Theresa Gillard
Status: Quo Minus
By F. Theresa Gillard
BOSTON Massachusetts—(Weekly Hubris)—10/12/2015—So, I know you’re wondering what catapulted my fingers onto these oh-so-not-familiar keys (again). You know, knowing my life, it wasn’t a glorious happening—like winning the 2015 HGTV Dream Home on Martha’s Vineyard. How cool would that have been? Weekends on the Vineyard pretending to be rich and carefree. Ah, the almost life.
Nope, definitely not that. Instead, I was abruptly awakened by a splash of caffeine. That elixir that so many cannot function without—the one that’s making Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts gazillions.
Now, to continue, we must go back to last year, around this time. I figured it was time for me to grow up and get a big girl car, henceforth known as a BGC. Not to worry, my 2003 VW Jetta 1.8 Turbo still holds a special place in my heart (And, no! It’s not for sale). I really am not a grown-up, so I really wasn’t sure what a BGC looked like, but I figured that I’d know it when I saw it.
Whilst Jetta-ing around, conveniently forgetting my BGC self-identification, I noticed a friend’s car. It was so cute. I had no idea what it was, but I knew that I’d found my adult version of the Jetta. That friend, Erin, was saying something about how it was the perfect car for her dogs (and New England snow).
Here’s a pic of my BGC’s first New England winter, and boy was it a doozy.
I spent so much money on snow removal that I should have bought an industrial grade snow blower. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, I got a roof leak from an ice dam. (Don’t ask: just imagine.) Then, paid $1,900+ to have the roof shoveled. Again, enough to buy those roof-heating thingies.
I ain’t gonna lie. My native South Carolinian self was screaming for those coastal palm trees. Yet, my transplanted New England self won out, and so did the snow. We got a record 9 feet (110.6 inches) last winter. And, for my efforts to clear that snow from our walkways, sidewalk, and driveway, I got a nice abductor muscle strain that is still aggravating me (injured last February: like, for real?).
Let me tell ya, my BGC plowed through that snow like it was in a commercial. I felt like Will Smith’s lil’ girl—the one who had that song about whipping her hair back and forth. Except, insert BGC every time she says, “hair.” And, insert “drive” every time she says, “whip.”
I was driving here, there and everywhere. Of course, for me, that simply means to work and back home. Plus, best of all, my BGC conquers snow piles in the parking garage. My Jetta did great too, but now I don’t need Blizzaks, and the clearance is heavenly.
Here’s a pic of my BGC having fun making Audi snow angels.
Honestly, if you’ve never taken your BGC on a road trip, then you really haven’t driven. There’s nothing like a 700—1,000 mile road trip. My BGC floated through those NY, PA, MD, WV, VA, and NC-to-SC miles like southbound cirrus clouds gliding swiftly towards serenity.
Even though I’m leasing, I am obviously enjoying pushing my mileage limit. You gotta live, right? Besides, not having to get a stinky ole rental car was beyond heavenly. Just Q5-ing around Anderson, South Carolina to Atlanta, Georgia to Charlotte, North Carolina, and every place in between.
I’ve driven 1,000-mile trips (2,000+ roundtrip) so, so many times. First, in my white Ford Probe. Later, in my calypso-green Ford Probe turbo. Then, in my canary yellow Ford Ranger Splash, which was quickly followed by my purple Ford Ranger Splash Super Cab. And, finally, in my most recent scorch-the-road Jetta 1.8 Turbo.
I have thoroughly enjoyed all of my cars/trucks: fun, fun, fun. But, I gotta tell you that my BGC is off the charts. It’s one of those gotta-drive-it-to-believe-it vehicles. You feel as though you are enveloped in luxury. The ride is beyond smooth. Pot-holey Boston streets disappear—absolutely seamless.
I lived in Fords for a long time. When I bought my Jetta, I was influenced by my brother Brian’s love of VWs. Volkswagen is a gateway ride to the Audi—practically on the same dealership lots.
I know that women are not supposed to be in love with their cars. I’ve been in love with cars since I first saw my father’s Model-T Ford. What a classic. Takes my breath away even now just thinking about it. And, my Mom’s ‘57 Chevy. If you know the 50s, and Chevys, I need not say more.
My brothers share my car obsession. Interestingly enough, they are all in some way involved with cars. Travis will sell it to/for you or trick it out—your choice. He can hook you up with everything from window tint to custom rims.
Rinard enjoys “considering” cars, but gets side-tracked researching the benefits of a gluten free diet, sharing documentaries, Dr. Oz videos and iBooks, such as Grain Brain.
Brian works at BMW. He has Karmann Ghia and classic VW Beetle fantasies.
Junior (J.C., Jr.) owns a specialty body shop. He’s had flings with a Jetta, an F-350, and a brilliant 2002 BMW M Coupe. I experienced all of these flings firsthand and, I gotta tell you: I’d have married all of them. No flings here.
Now, they are passing on their vehicle obsessions to their children. Me, I don’t have kids. So, I’m sharing my car obsessions with you.
My Q5 has my heart. For now.
But, you know me: my heart’s not a static entity. We’ll see what the next BGC looks like.
BTW, what’s your car obsession?
F. Theresa Gillard
F. Theresa Gillard characterizes herself as a Black—not an African American; born/raised in South Carolina; currently residing in New England; never married; no children. Her day benefits-gets-her-bills-paid-job: a Director at a university in Boston. She proclaims herself to be a passionate never-gets-around-to-it writer who is a Rap-House Music/Cheeze-It junkie. What she writes is who she is—meaning she is a take-it-or-leave-it, yes-or-no, with-no-maybe-or-possibly person: basically, she feels it all comes down to that initial “F.” Email Theresa: StatusQuoMinus@WeeklyHubris.com (Author Head Shot Augment: René Laanen.)
14 Comments
Becky McDonald
Great to have an update old friend motorized and all. I am strongly encouraging you to head westward and further enthrall the literary world with the further adventures of F.Theresa and her BGC. Meet you in Yellowstone National Park or Glacier National park. Your choice
ftg
* Becky McDonald – My have the years have passed – to the point that I am literally your “old friend.” Not complaining, just saying. Funny that you mention YNP & GNP. ‘Cause I’m gonna be out there next October. That’s right! I hope you really wanted to see me ;-). I’ll G-mail ya . . .
F. Theresa
Jennifer
FLASHBACK * to riding around with you in streets of Boston in your BGC..
But the Audi is super duper awesome!! Your Lead foot,… that’s another story! Once again you NAILED it..great article.
Melanie H.
Oh my is it a BGC…although I think Kent would love to make it a BBC. I don’t love cars quite as much as you, but there is a secret part of my heart that gets a quiet thrill from them. I can’t wait for my kids to be big enough that I can move on from my minivan days and into something infinitely more exciting.
Will
Love this piece, Miss T! I’ve got to get my sister to read this…she just got her BGC, and that ridin’-around thing she’s done all her life, well, now she loves her wheels as much as the ridin’-around! A joyful essay, Theresa. Thank you.
Jean Nolan
Hello, F. Theresa – Thank you for the delightful read. I am the least automotively educated woman in the developed world, but I do remember the ’57 Chevy. If you and BGC really do head out west for a national park tour, for heaven’s sake, keep going, to Seaside, Ca., and we’ll take you down Highway One, so BGC can do Bixby Creek Bridge, just like in “Then Came Bronson!” Really nice to read your work again – and the invite’s for real. You can have a great laugh over my 1994 Cutlass…that would be the NEW car, you understand!
ftg
* Jennifer – 1st off, I do not have a lead foot. Apparently, other drivers don’t have a foot at all. So, naturally, I pass on by. Unlike them, I actually have a destination that I’d like to reach before Christmas after next. 2nd, when you’re back here for July 4, ride with Adrian instead and see how you like that :-).
* Melanie H. – Any time you guys want to take my BGC out for a spin, just let me know. My BGC has no problem switching gears to a BBC, none whatsoever.
* Will – Thank you for stopping by, again. As we southerners are apt to say when we are truly thankful, I ‘preciate ya. Hope your sister sits a spell, and enjoys her stop by.
* Jean Nolan – Hello there. I should have included a pic of my Mom’s ’57. Now, Jean, I had to Google 1994 Cutlass. OMG! I cannot wait to see it. What color is it? It’s still running?! Priceless. OK, let me calm down. K, all set. Since I was already on Google, I looked up Seaside, CA. Per G-Maps, that’s about 16 hours from YNP. I’ll see about convincing my fellow explorers to swing that way. Would love to meet you, your BGC and cruise Highway One.
F. Theresa
Travis
What about the green Ford Probe GT
ftg
* Travis – OK, once again, I am negligent by a vital letter or two – I have it noted above as a Ford Probe turbo, when indeed it was a Ford Probe GT.
F. Theresa
Rickeina
You’re a comical genius, and this piece captivated it. I love it! Whip on!
ftg
* Rickeina – Many a time I’ve been referred to as much less than a genius, many a time. Thank you. I’ll continue to whip it up.
F. Theresa
LaTonya H.
First off, your pics have given me several more reasons why I could not survive up north during the winters. I’m cold just looking at them!
Secondly, I have taken several road trips, and I have found 500 miles to be my absolute car comfort-level, but it’s great to see people still enjoy long-distance driving!
Lastly, my vehicular obsession would have to be the Range Rover (the older versions mostly). I am not obsessed enough to know the model names, though, but after reading this, I will step my game up!
Great read!
ftg
* LaTonya H – Rover, huh? I like the new ones. They’re not so boxy. But, it sounds like your obsession includes those. There are a lot of those around up here – another winner during our snowy winters. Let me know what surfaces with your obsession research – I do mean research. Go to a Rover dealer and do some test driving.
F. Theresa
CGR
Well F.T. I am old school and love classics like 55 and 56 Chevys. Own a few of those sweet babies. However, if I had to choose two cars to drive, they would be MUSCLE CARS. The 1968 Dodge Charger and the 1968 SS Chevy Chevelle. Now those are cars!! Road Trip!
CGR