“The Ultimate Oxymoron: Ideal Job”
Status: Quo Minus
by F. Theresa Gillard
BOSTON, MA—(Weekly Hubris)—5/3/10—Your ideal job. Precisely how is that picture materializing? This may just be one of those “watch what you ask for” situations. So, be careful. An ideal-anything is tricky at best.
Picture your ideal body shape. You’d probably look freakish to everyone else. I got my aunt’s help for this one. She wants her own breasts, Pamela Anderson’s waist, J-Lo’s butt, Tina Turner’s legs and Oprah’s hair.
How about your ideal home? It’d more than likely not even be practical enough to actually live in. Let’s start with a totally Green house, so much so that it’d probably recycle itself.
Your ideal mate? Hmm, he/she would eventually make you want to barf—just too much of a too good thing. You fill this one in.
Now that I’ve got you thinking, let’s mosey back over to the concept of an ideal job. Many of you have already moved passed this. You’re thinking that your ideal job would be no job. Can’t get any more ideal than that.
However, I believe that you may be surprised that you’d still find busy stuff to do. And, call it what you want, it’d still be quite work-like; thus a job of sorts.
You are reading this on Weekly Hubris. So, let’s just start with the Almighty Me. Yeah, Me. I like that. OK, climbing down off my pedestal (for a moment or two).
You think you’ve got this one already answered for me. It may come as a shock to you that creative writing is my passion. But, hold up. My ideal job would not consist of writing in any form, especially creative writing.
My creative writing either comes or it doesn’t. I cannot turn it off or on. That’s how creativity goes for me. I liken it to regurgitation. When it comes, it has to come out—no other option.
Many times, I read what just streamed and I’m like, what? Whoa! Did I just write that? It’s like being in the ultimate zone. Sweet.
There’s always a flipside. My flip is that I cannot write on-demand. My family believes me to be The Writing Wonder Woman, complete with my wonder backpack (computer included).
I get requests to write poetry-like pieces for events or occasions. I generally am able to come up with something. And, that’s the problem. That something is oft not even passable, because it has been forced out. Sour.
Now, when it doesn’t require creativity, I am, without doubt, The Writing Wonder Woman.
Flipping again. Since we’re talking “ideal” and since we’re calling it a “job,” I need a job (career) that is as stress-free as possible (current position just flew right out of the window). This is the first and foremost reason that my ideal job cannot be writing.
Yes, I did say that writing is my passion. You do know that passion can be likened to fury, right?
I stress myself out over writing deadlines. I literally write these WH pieces moments prior to the deadline (OK, my editor is thinking: be honest, F.T.). Honestly, a wee bit beyond the deadline in the wee-est a.m. hours. Thus, writing is way out of my ideal spectrum. Or, that’s my own, personal conclusion.
Consequently, some years ago (lately, I’m noticing that I have quite a few some years ago) one of my college professors required the reading of What Color is Your Parachute: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers, by Richard Nelson Bolles. I found this book to be a job in itself, but if you get through at least some of the exercises, you may find it extremely helpful.
What I got out of it back then was that by narrowing down my skills to match my interests, I might actually be able to create/find/locate my ideal job.
I’m still trying to find a position that will incorporate my love of cooking, my love of working with kids, and my love of creative writing.
See how creative writing is sneaking back in? Take note that it has a couple of tag-alongs: cooking and kids.
You may want to also note that I don’t have any kids and I just spent over a year without any cooking gas (do you remember that article?).
There you have it. My ideal job (career) must consist of cooking, kids and writing. I’m gonna need some help here people.
Your turn, what’s your ideal job looking like?
Hey, you may already be there right now. Please share.
We’d all love to hear how you created, found, or happened upon that idealness.
(BTW, don’t go sending me your kids!)
F. Theresa Gillard
F. Theresa Gillard characterizes herself as a Black—not an African American; born/raised in South Carolina; currently residing in New England; never married; no children. Her day benefits-gets-her-bills-paid-job: a Director at a university in Boston. She proclaims herself to be a passionate never-gets-around-to-it writer who is a Rap-House Music/Cheeze-It junkie. What she writes is who she is—meaning she is a take-it-or-leave-it, yes-or-no, with-no-maybe-or-possibly person: basically, she feels it all comes down to that initial “F.” Email Theresa: [email protected] (Author Head Shot Augment: René Laanen.)
15 Comments
Christina A.
Great article…yes, you guessed it- I had my kids all dressed and ready to go!
(I was even going to pay for the shipping and handling…)
I like ideal situations as well…I just prefer to call them “iDeal situations”…but of course people can flip the situation thus making it a “uDeal situation”- this mess turns out to be the “real Deal”.
Seriously, take the kids- don’t worry about gas (the kids come fully loaded!)
ftg
LOL, you crack me completely up Christina! When are you going to write a column? You let me know. I’m there. All in. (u’re kidding about the kids, right? pun intended:-) f. theresa g.
julie-ann strangie
Great article you sure you don’t want my sons. I could use a good cook
Julie
Christine
Ideal Job… hmmmmm… how about raking sand on a beautiful beach somewhere in the tropics? Cooking, Kids and Writing… how about a show that incorporates cooking with kids and then write a cookbook? Combining all three no obligation to any!!! I also am humming the tune to “Procrastination my love…..” goes to the the tune, “It was Fascination”, do you know it??????
Travis
I would like to travel freely. (no job) :)
CGR
If I had known you were going to use my words for my ideal body shape for all to read, I would have never told you! I feel ambushed, just like a writer to do a thing like that. Lucky you, I am a forgiving woman. CGR
LaTonya
Maybe you can write a humorous, kid-friendly cook book and start a cooking class for kids and their parent(s). This could create extra revenue streams and market one with the other….outlandish, but just trying to throw in some of that creativity you like! ;-)
My ideal job…I am VERY passionate about research/statistics (I know, very nerdy, but I love numbers), proofreading/editing, event planning, marketing, and organization. The tough part is fitting them all into one career, but I’m up for the challenge!
The only way to possibly do them all is to start my own business completing these tasks for others who hate doing them. I am nearing the end of the development process, so we’ll see how it goes…
eboleman-herring
OK, FT, here’s the deal. YOU write F. Theresa’s Cookbook for Kids; I edit it; we split the $$$ . . . and retire. :-) eb-h
LaTonya
Wow…there was only one comment when I started on this!!! Christine, I PROMISE I didn’t read your comment until after I hit send on my comment (good to know great minds think alike, though) :-)
Clocking out of my nerdy mindset for a moment, the ideal job would involve the tasks of a critic (free movies, meals and trips)! Clocking back in…
BG
My ideal job would have very little to do with the job itself as long as it is part time. More free time is a must!
Great article!
BG
Auderia
How about this..publish the stories you already have tucked away in you briefcase, go on book tour, cook your way through the regions and make a donation to you favorite children’s charity:)
As for me, 11 25 22 36 25 X 4..Jackpot!
CYNTHIA RENDERS
I’m in my ideal job working with the public, ha,ha, but it is very rewarding, makeing people happy in this day and age is very hard but my job allots all of that when a hard day at work is at hand I’m the one you want to see, a nice head wash and a hairstyle always makes you happy, life sucks until you find a Hairstylist that you really like, that’s my slogan. Especally for time sensitive people.
Christine
Looks like you have a manager and travel agent, just need a publisher and you’re all set for your worldwide tour of cooking with kids, writing the book, and splitting the proceeds with those of us who gave you the idea… wink… wink!!! Seriously, you must do this! Have the kiddies draw the pictures of the food for the book, what a hoot that would be. I LOVE children’s imagination, so free and uninhibited by us jaded big people (LOL)! I’m just a big kid myself..
ftg
Christina/Julie-Ann/Christine/Travis/CGR/LaTonya/EB-H/BG/Auderia & Cynthia, you guys give me great hope that there is such a thing as “ideal job.” Let’s go make it happen, because the sky has fallen down around me (business-status quo) . Sky-Blue never really looked good above me anyway :-) . . . f. theresa g.
Eric Benjamin
Funny, after reading your piece and comments I decided the term “ideal job” was an oxymoron – then I flipped back to the top of the page and realized I had landed where the column began. Good writing does not come easily to anyone. Those of us who care about the written word are willing to revise, revise, revise until the piece is at least acceptable, and that’s the difference between those who tweet and those who write. You so clearly care about your writing, yet if you cranked out a piece for publication each week – or every day like at a newspaper, you’d find that there is writing – and then there is literature…….One you do for pay, the other you do for pleasure. Sometimes, rarely they converge, but never entirely for anyone – F Scott Fitzgerald or James Baldwin alike.