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It’s a Book—It Has No Joystick: Books and Libraries
Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “I am a proud non-reader of books.” —Kanye West, promoting his latest booklet “In Bunraku . . . the chief reader holds out the text and bows…
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Pro Bozo Publico & Other Bilingual Tales: Translation
Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “If she’s beautiful, she’s unfaithful; if she’s faithful, she’s ugly.”—Voltaire “A perfect translation is impossible; yet absolutely necessary.”—Anonymous CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—3/5/12—Cervantes compared the translation of a…
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Grounding Zeus: Lightning vs The Church
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Lightning rods interfere with God’s vengeance.”—Anonymous 18th-Century Churchman “Good heavens! The postilion has been struck by lightning.”—French phrase book for English language students, c.1880 CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly…
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The Gravity of Names: Names and Fate
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Your parents’ love is expressed in your life; their love for you is expressed in your name.” —The Wordspinner “The hand God deals you represents determinism. The…
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Alligator in a Shoe Factory: Fear
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Take no counsel from your fears.”—Stonewall Jackson “Take the counsel of your fears.”—American Proverb CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—1/30/12—If the creator has ever visited this planet, I have…
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Signs of the Apocalypse: Bumper Stickers
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger Wearers of “legible clothing” are the ignorant feigning success.—Paraphrase of Paul Fussell Bumper stickers add “more to our humor than to our rancor.”—Robert Samuelson CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly…
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On Saddling a Horse to Cross the Street: Idle vs. Active
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “The Lord is my chauffeur—I shall not walk.”—Bil Keane “For the night cometh, wherein no man can [walk].”—Thomas Carlyle CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—1/16/12—A friend of a friend…
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To Die Laughing: Caricatures of Death
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.”—Woody Allen “Many who have their death gene cut out want it restored on getting…
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On Poking the Caged Hunger Artist: Sado-Masochism
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Poke my bunny with a stick, Sir?”—Nick Downes “You’re a total sociopath, Ron. I like that in a man.”—Scott Adams CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—1/2/12—Clemson students are often…
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Tales from The Cup and Chaucer: Punning Business Names
Skip the B.S. By Skip Eisiminger “In the pun, two strings of thought are tangled into one acoustic knot.”—Arthur Koestler “Puns are the droppings of soaring wits.”—Victor Hugo CLEMSON South Carolina—(Weekly Hubris)—12/26/11—It all…