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A Tune to Water
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “I never drink water because of the disgusting things fish do in it.”—W.C. Fields “I’ve taken a proprietary interest in our children and Lake Hartwell for over…
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The Grammar Gestapo vs. The Antinomians
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Grammar rules are banana peels on the sidewalk of life.”—Anonymous “Grammar is the art of putting language in its place on or off the sidewalk.”—Anonymous CLEMSON South…
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My Office Door at Clemson U
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Solomon, Solomon, have you no sons?”—Anonymous “Don’t nobody don’t like Dr. E.”—Anonymous Student CLEMSON SC—(Weekly Hubris)—3/14/11—Note: Over the 40 years I taught English and Humanities at Clemson…
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The Future Is Not on Rails
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.”—Montaigne “The best way to predict the future is to make it.”—Anonymous CLEMSON, SC—(Weekly Hubris)—2/28/11—Bearded Druids carrying placards…
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Passing Gas in Reverse
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Avarice is the sphincter of the heart.”—Matthew Green, c. 1730 “Greed is in, guilt is out.”—Anonymous, 1987 CLEMSON, SC—(Weekly Hubris)—2/14/11—Speakers of Hindi have an idiom that, loosely…
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No Gold for the Fastest Ejaculator: A Meditation on Speed
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Slow has four letters like Life. Speed has five letters like Death.”—Indian traffic sign, 1996 “Hasty and slow meet at the ferry.”—Arab proverb CLEMSON, SC—(Weekly Hubris)—1/31/11—At 6′…
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Our All-Purpose Scapegoat: The Devil
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Those with the most doubts about the Devil are those most under his spell.”—Cotton Mather “The devil is a gentleman who never goes where he is not…
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All Engine & No Brake?
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “Congress shall make no law . . . abridging the freedom of speech . . . .”—James Madison “It is the absolute right of the state to…
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Slipping In & Out of Eden
Skip the B.S. by Skip Eisiminger “If you believe in your dreams, you run the risk of spending your entire life asleep.”—Chinese Proverb “The ability to delude yourself is an important survival tool.”—Jane…
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Astrology: As Above, So Below?
Skip the BS. by Skip Eisiminger “The celestial bodies are the cause of all that takes place in the sublunar world.”—St. Thomas Aquinas “I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re…