Fried Dough & Giant Pumpkins: The Topsfield Fair
Status: Quo Minus
by F. Theresa Gillard
BOSTON, MA—(Weekly Hubris)—10/11/10—This time last year, I was lamenting over the summer-less summer we’d had. Well, lo and behold, this year we have had the summer of all summers. Record humidity and heat had me wondering if we’d somehow been transported to South Carolina.
Now, I’m no fan of summer or heat, which partly explains my exodus from the South to the New England area. New England’s summers are generally so mild that most new home builders don’t install central air. I’m sure many home owners were revisiting that decision this summer.
A few days into June, I had to break down and purchase three window air conditioning units. This sent my electric bill into doubling mode. No problem: it was worth every delightful chilly breeze.
It’s about to flip again into tripling mode due to heating costs. It’s already turning quite chilly here. Our mornings and evenings are starting to give way to autumn. Just in time for the Topsfield Fair.
I love the Topsfield Fair, in spite of myself. I mean, come on, candied apples so thickly coated with coconut-red-hard-candy-glazed-looking stuff that your teeth practically run from the first bite.
The Topsfield Fair has been around since 1818. That looks kinda strange doesn’t it? The year 1818. Anyways, the fair has agricultural roots and is owned by the Essex Agricultural Society.
Essentially, it’s the memories that keep me coming back to the fair. I’m not too big on cotton candy or corn dogs, which were the staple foods of my hometown fair, the Anderson County Fair.
These days, fairs have caught up to the present century. The foods, displays, rides and events are varied to appeal to and attract expanding interests and tastes.
Even the Topsfield Fair’s website invites you to follow the fair on Twitter and Facebook. This year, Chubby Checker, Boys Like Girls, Uncle Kracker and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police performing musical rides are just a sampling of fair attractions.
I go to the Topsfield Fair yearly to eat my way through until I’m sick and have to leave. I start with some weird waffle fries slash carb-by-death fried concoction. Whilst I continue down the fair destruction-by-food road, I check out all of the stuff that they sell on the HSN that, up close, gives you even more reason not to purchase.
There’s jewelry (jewels gone awry), real (really real) leather purses and wallets, ingenious (not so much) barrettes, home improvement (improves dust collection) miracle appliances, 600- (they stopped counting at just over 100-) thread count sheets, and a hair removal (sand paper) device to which passers-by sacrifice their arms as visual aids.
After sprinkling (drenching) my fried dough with powdered sugar, I head for the horticultural displays. Unbelievable—the oversized pumpkins and squash, the exquisite flowers, plants and prize-winning vegetables.
And the people—I’m talking the fair people. Really, if I’m there, imagine who else is there. I’m a fair anomaly. I lack many of the fair prerequisites, many of which my neighbors readily meet.
I’m just warming up and not quite toasty yet, so I get some apple crumb pie with vanilla ice cream. Time to head over to the crafts barn and take a gander at the prize-winning quilts, art work and the like.
That done. I mosey on over through the horticultural displays. Goggle at the huge pumpkin. Eat some kettle popcorn. Watch someone eating a huge turkey leg. Try some tempura.
Whilst searching out the sand sculptures, I happen upon goats, horses and extremely large bovines. The aroma is a bit rich, causing me to rethink my bombardment of fair food.
Yet, I shall have no regrets. Besides, it’s just once a year. Next year, I won’t remember how sick I got today.
OK, so I admit it. I’m no fair anomaly. And, I have all of the fair prereqs, including wandering from the poultry to the pigs, to the horses, to the cattle, to the goats, whilst aimlessly gawking at everything in between.
Not to mention eating food that is guaranteed to travel instantaneously to your thighs and mid-section.
Eating my way through the fair is my way of traveling down memory lane. It’s comforting and feels, interestingly, like coming home, in South Carolina or Boston.
F. Theresa Gillard
F. Theresa Gillard characterizes herself as a Black—not an African American; born/raised in South Carolina; currently residing in New England; never married; no children. Her day benefits-gets-her-bills-paid-job: a Director at a university in Boston. She proclaims herself to be a passionate never-gets-around-to-it writer who is a Rap-House Music/Cheeze-It junkie. What she writes is who she is—meaning she is a take-it-or-leave-it, yes-or-no, with-no-maybe-or-possibly person: basically, she feels it all comes down to that initial “F.” Email Theresa: StatusQuoMinus@WeeklyHubris.com (Author Head Shot Augment: René Laanen.)
13 Comments
Phyllis
great article, better you than me eating all that rich fried foods, then smelling all the animals!
Laura Lostimolo
Hello Theresa,
I always look forward to reading your articles. Although I haven’t been to the fair in what seems like 100 years, I could picture myself walking there with you. Thanks for sharing your life. By the way, I love your picture. I knew there was a smile somewhere.
Laura ~
Marya
Theresa – our SC state fair just started and we do all the same things. We also have a great judged art and photography competition. Every year, I make big claims about trying the fried Twinkies or Snickers and always chicken out. Maybe this is my year!
P.S. A carnie got electrocuted while assembling a ride – puts a little damper on the enthusiasm.
Christine Robertson
What?!!? No tractor pulling and cow pie tossing????? It is a wonderful fair, one that is coveted by the New Englanders in the area! Glad that you immersed yourself in the best part of the fair, eating all the greasy, fat ladened goodies that abound throughout the fair, sugar heaven, Yummy!!!!! Bet Chubby Checker can still “twist the night away”! That’s how to get rid of some of those calories that landed on your thighs, LOL!!!!
Cortney Ellis
As always, I enjoyed your article. You sound a lot me when you say you ate your way through the fair! :) Hope to see you soon
ftg
Phyllis – the smell will kill you :-), but I usually make it through to eat again at next year’s fair.
Laura – I smile when absolutely necessary or when caught off guard – sometimes smiles sneak up one me! Scary.
Marya – Topsfield’s fair also has art and photography competitions in with the quilts (hanging above). I’m hoping that the carnie lived? Sad.
Christine – did you say, cow pie? We will have none of that madness! I make sure to limit my fair experience as much as possible.
Cortney – I’ll be down that way next week-well, sort of. I’ll be in the Charleston area attending a work related conference. Since it’s a 4+hour drive, I may just catch you at Christmas.
Dave
Theresa,
The MS State Fair is here, and I cannot wait to go for all the reasons you’ve stated. It’s worth the $5 admission fee and the $5 parking fee simply to go on the people-watching “ride.” I also like to see what new food concoction is put on a stick and deep-fried each year. I love to eat the huge cinnamin rolls!
CGR
You brought that red coconut candied apple to my house. I tried to get you not to eat it, without success however. Next time you say “I’m so fat” I am going to remind you of that red apple you so enjoyed. I know, if you had to do it all over again, you would still eat it. Kinda wish I had gone with you now!!
Love Ya, CGR
ftg
Dave – your Mississippi State Fair is a bargain! The Topsfield Fair is $12 to get in and $8 to park. I got discounted tickets a couple of months ago for $7 admission (Thanks to Christina C.’s Mom :-) Yeah, food on a stick. You gotta love it.
Aunt Corine (AKA CGR) – You been boycotting the fair for a few years now. We both know that If you’d gone, you’d be having some of that fair food that always leaves anyone saying or thinking, “I’m so fat.” Maybe next year?
f. Theresa g.
LaTonya
Man, I finally live 10 miles from the MS State fair, and I didn’t even get to go (haven’t been to the fair in at least 5 years)! Great article, but all the comments just made me more bummed… :-(
Becky
Great article! In Montana they have a specialty called ‘Tater Pigs” potatoes stuffed with a sausage down the middle then baked. Makes my arteries harden just thinking just thinking about it. Mmmmm.
Rosalyn
Hey girl I feel your pain and gain(weight). I took the kids to the SC State Fair recently and ate my way through as well.The cost of rides for 3 will give you a heart attack! But the thrill is watching the strange hairdo’s and high hills(shoes) make their way around the track.Love Ya!
ftg
LaTonya – You need to make the time to go. There really is nothing like a fair. Nothing.
Becky – Great to hear from you! How are things over there in Alaska? I miss you terribly. Whoa! A sausage baked inside a potato – cannot go wrong with that!
Ros – What’s up girl? Thanks for stopping by. Yeah, we really need to get our thighs/butts/tummies under control :-) . See you in December!
f. Theresa g.