The Way to My Heart
“Alexis Ladas, my first Athenian, was born in 1920, a whole generation before I came into this world on a different continent. By the time he was 24, my age when we met, he’d sailed to Crete in a dinghy with Lawrence Durrell, been arrested as a spy and condemned to death, courted romance in war-time Cairo, captained a fishing caïque that tracked German convoys through the eastern Aegean, and saved a seal from drowning.” Diana Farr Louis
Eating Well Is The Best Revenge
By Diana Farr Louis
Note: A sequel to Louis’s previous essay, “A Fateful Invitation,” this column describes how the author ended up as her friend’s “Auntie.”
ANDROS, Greece—(Weekly Hubris)—8/5/2013—He was tall, dark and very handsome. The first meal he fed me was caviar and pheasant under glass—something that had caught my imagination—in what was then the most elegant Russian restaurant in Paris. He also ordered champagne. And then proceeded to swizzle the bubbles away.
Eight months later, we were married.
I’d been doing my year in Europe—summer in Greece, winter in Paris—after graduation from college, and the year was drifting into a second when I met Alexis again. The first time had been on that beach on Spetses 14 months earlier. But after that fateful dinner I decided to move back home to New York. Where he lived.
Actually, that’s the drastically expurgated version and pheasant under glass turned out to be a rather boring dish. But the stories that went with that meal and every subsequent one could have filled many books. I hung on Alexis’s every word and fancied myself Desdemona to his Othello. Which was rather appropriate, since the noted historian Sir Steven Runciman had traced his lineage back to the Moor of Venice—while maintaining that the Moor was not Black at all but simply a Mr. Mavros, which means black in Greek. He alleged that Mr. Mavros had married a Miss Cordatou, originating the distinguished Mavrocordatos line, to which Alexis’s grandmother belonged. As the Italians would say, “se non è vero, è ben trovato.”
Alexis Ladas, my first Athenian, was born in 1920, a whole generation before I came into this world on a different continent. By the time he was 24, my age when we met, he’d sailed to Crete in a dinghy with Lawrence Durrell, been arrested as a spy and condemned to death, courted romance in war-time Cairo, captained a fishing caïque that tracked German convoys through the eastern Aegean, and saved a seal from drowning.
Just for starters. How could I not be enthralled? When he could a tale unfold in an English better than my own. Some of his experiences had made it into print, in beautifully woven short stories published in Harpers. One had even evolved into a charming children’s book, called The Seal That Couldn’t Swim.
But that was all. In November, 1964, after we drank some more bubble-less champagne to celebrate the appearance of “Before the Firing Squad” in Harpers and my first (and only) travel piece in the IHT, Alexis succumbed to an incurable case of writer’s cramp. Even more infuriating, he eluded every inducement our son, many, many, years later, devised to get him to tell his stories into a hidden tape recorder.
In 2010, eleven years after his death, he finally came out with a novel. It’s the reworking of a screenplay he’d written before we met—full of action, suspense, love and rivalry, nautical lore, and youthful idealism. Called Falconera, it’s the fictionalized account of various missions undertaken by the schooner flotilla he joined after escaping from prison on the day the Italians capitulated to the Allies in September 1943.
Finally released from writer’s cramp in his 70s, Alexis poured memories and imagination into the manuscript, which he left with an old friend and publisher. After a concatenation of events that conspired to delay printing, the editing process began. I offered to help and found myself listening to his voice again—the same vignettes, ideas, observations, and adventures that had captivated me so long ago resounded in my ear in the very turns of phrase he’d used back then.
It was uncanny.
I should add that our marriage lasted a mere five years. Put simply, Alexis was happier living in the past, in his amazingly eventful 20s, than he was being a dutiful husband and father. However, he changed my life in more ways than one. Besides giving me my wonderful son, he also cemented my love for Greece, its food and food in general.
While in Paris, I’d spent three months at Cordon Bleu, learning how to chop onions, make curdle-proof mayonnaise and deglaze a pan. That wasn’t long enough to become a superb cook, but it did teach me how to eat. Living with Alexis was like graduate school in the philosophy of taste.
First, he was an incomparable cook. He introduced me to skewered squabs and exquisite thin-cut french fries (always plunging them into the oil a second time to get them really crisp); steaks with marchand du vin sauce; and soft-shell crabs, first fried in oil and then sautéed in butter. He would scour the fish markets of Manhattan for whole fresh shrimp—how could you make a bisque without the heads? Our butcher on 89th and 1st thought Alexis ran a restaurant he ordered so much meat. And the Fire Department arrived more than once as smoke gushed from the hibachis on our 6th floor balcony.
But he also initiated me into the ways of Greek hospitality. Enraged and embarrassed when I’d ordered only eight huge lamb chops for four people, he became vegetarian for the evening so the others could have the possibility of seconds. “Always serve more than you could possibly eat. You must never appear stingy,” he scolded. And though he really was more carnivore than herbivore, Alexis adored the lentil and bean soups Greeks consume by the gallon in winter, pouring in olive oil till it was an inch thick on top, where masses of onions and garlic floated.
Of course, we ate out often at favorite places such as Gino’s, Le Veau d’Or, P.J. Clarke’s, in Manhattan, or Prunier, Maxim’s, and a local bistro when in Paris.
But whenever Alexis needed a Greek fix, we’d head to the Pantheon on 49th and 8th Avenue. It was a classic taverna, with a mural of the Acropolis on the wall, that could have been transported bodily from Athens. We’d order more than we could possibly eat, of course: taramosalata, dolmadakia, kid with lemon sauce, giant baked beans, kalamarakia, moussaka . . . all the classics, even retsina served in those copper-colored cylindrical pitchers.
“This is Soul Food,” Alexis would say, “A taste of the patrida, the homeland.”
Tasting those quintessential Greek dishes would transport us both to a blue wooden table by the wine-dark sea on a sun-drenched island with gulls mewing in the sky, cats mewing by our feet, and a feeling of utmost contentment penetrating every cell.
For me, Soul Food had nothing to do with collard greens, corn pone and chittlins; nothing to do with the Sunday roasts of my childhood, either.
Alexis gave me his patrida, and when we separated, I went home . . . to Greece.
RECIPE
Sautéed Shrimp with Garlic, Mushrooms, and Rice
Note: This recipe was written by our son, Petros Ladas, another whiz cook.
Alexis’s friend Susan’s father was a shrimper in the Gulf who would occasionally send her five-pound ziplock backs of wonderful fresh frozen Louisiana shrimp. These were fairly large, I guess number 1s. Susan was not much of a cook so the arrangement was that the bag would live in his freezer and she had to be invited every so often to partake of Alexis’s shrimp creations. He did his best. One of my favorites is sautéed shrimp with garlic, mushrooms, and rice.
We would peel the shrimp while they were still partially frozen which made it easier and then we would make a broth with the shrimp shells and heads. Back in those days we did not know about brining but today I would brine them for ten or 20 minutes in a medium strong solution before cutting the shrimp into four equal morsels. We had a super abundance of shrimp so we calculated about five or six per person. At the same time we’d clean the mushrooms (we always used plain white mushrooms, probably because that’s all you could get in the 80s) and slice them thin. Then we’d peel the garlic and chop finely and we’d also finely chop a large handful of parsley which would be split in two.
The rice (Uncle Ben’s in those days, half a cup per serving) would be sautéed in butter until it had soaked it up. Half a cup of white wine would be added and boiled off and then the shrimp broth would be poured in. Since the rice is to cook uncovered and unstirred at medium high the ratio was 3 to 1 with extra liquid toward the end if it seemed to be sticking. If we did not have enough shrimp broth we’d top it up with chicken broth. Today, I would use Basmati and somewhat reduce the ratio.
The shrimp were quickly sautéed in butter (taking care not to burn it) and removed when they had acquired color but before they cooked through, a minute or two. Then the mushrooms, garlic, and half the parsley were added to the same pan, with extra butter if necessary, and cooked until the mushrooms had released all their liquid and we beginning to color, taking care not to burn the garlic. At this point a splash of wine was added and boiled off, then the shrimp were returned to the pan with a cup of cream and stirred until a thick sauce formed.
We then made a ring of rice in the serving platter, filled the hole with the shrimp, and sprinkled the remaining parsley on top.
Note: For more on Falconera, please visit the publisher’s website, www.lycabettus.com.
13 Comments
Leon
More, more please Diana. These are wonderful, so moving and nicely written. LOL, Leon
Olia Jacovides
What an enjoyable article and what a great picture !! I have always regretted never meeting Alexi – and what sticks in my mind is the word “charm” , which he seemed to evoke in everybody’s memory…he obviously had plenty of that, as did Marina of course. And somehow, reading about him brought back Peter and Monica and George P. also…all those who added colour , warmth and laughter to our lives. I think I’ll re-read “Falconera” – can’t think of a better summer treat !
Becky Sakellariou
You’re the best, Diana mou. Generous, funny, honest, tender…….thank you always.
polly
Oh beautiful girl–HH looks interested, but I read ‘smitten’ in your eyes. And to think: I was at 83rd and 1st at around the same time!! What a whirlwind of a relationship leaving you with such wonderful gifts——just Loved this
DESPINA MEIMAROGLOU
Amazing story!
amalia
I love this piece, what a photo, too…congratulations!!!!
diana
Thank you all, dear friends, for taking the trouble to leave these lovely comments. Kisses to all, D
Fern Driscoll
What a story – what a life (both of you). I loved reading this, and hope there will be more biography to come. Wonderful photo, too. A youngish HHH!
Peter Myrian
I was reading The Last Mazurka by Andrew Tarnowski when I came across Alexis Ladas name. I remembered Patrick Leigh Fermor mentioning him in an interview. WW II is an area which interests me greatly. Is there any more documentation on Alexis exploits in the war?
Tom Kieffer
Hello Diana:
Thank you for your wonderful piece on Alexis Ladas.
Let me tell you how I came upon it. I was sitting in our living room yesterday with my wife and son. My son is just about to graduate from NYU and enter the working world in New York. He was saying that he has finally come to appreciate and embrace his given name. All through high school and most of college he went by his initials, A.J., but now he will go by Alexi. We named him after Alexis Ladas. ( I always new Alexis by the informal, Alexi.). My wife and I looked at each other and jointly sighed “finally he realizes what a wonderful name he has”.
I then immediately began retelling my memories of Alexis Ladas, Alexi’s namesake, while at the same time browsing Google in search of links for pictures and descriptions of his war time exploits. I found your site amongst a few others, and was immediately drawn in and captivated as I read it to my wife and son.
I met Alexi in late 1978 in New York. My friend and business partner, Harvey Bellin were filmmakers. For the previous six years we had divided our time between shooting international documentaries and more commercial advertising and corporate promotional work.
Alexis Ladas had started the Hellenic Heritage Foundation, at some point recently I recall, and the Foundation had received a grant to make a film about Greek Art from the Cycladic Islands. It was to accompany an exhibit of same at the National Gallery in Washington, DC. I believe the funding as well as many of the pieces came from the Goulandris Collection. In any case we got the assignment to produce the film and were quickly drawn into the magical world of Alexi Ladas.
I must say that the three weeks in April 1979 that we spent with Alexi in Greece were the among most wonderful experiences in my life. We had filmed in Greece before, but in the summer. In early April it was still raw, windy and gray. I don’t think we had a single day of sun. All the better to draw yourself backward in time to a distant past 2500 years before the great Classical Age. It was the perfect canvas on which to turn the imagination loose. How did these people who made such refined and elegant marble sculptures actually live? What inspired them?
Alexi was in a continual state of speculative reverie. This was his world, the Greece that is once history and mythology. A space that can only truly be attained in the imagination. It was intoxicating, and we all happily imbibed the elixir of his wonderful mind.
Working from a loose script we filmed objects and sites in and around Athens and the Peloponnese, Akrotiri at Santorini, and on Naxos and Paros. At day’s end there was the taverna, the local wine, the fresh caught fish carefully selected by Alexi. There were no cell phones, no way to contact home. The dream continued, uninterrupted. For a young filmmaker, it was pure heaven.
Of course all transporting experiences come to an end. We returned to New York, finished the film, transitioned to other projects and continued to work. I married, had children. We moved on in our lives.
Harvey and I remained friends with Alexi and his collaborateur at the Hellenic Heritage Foundation, Susan Martin for several years. What a pair they were! I don’t recall which of them played the straight man in their routine, but they were a real comedic duo. We’d go out to lunch or dinner a few times a year – to the Parthenon for Greek, but more often to a sushi restaurant. Alexi would order only yellowtail – sashimi. (“Why order an assortment, when one is truly superior?”)
It was always a pleasure seeing Alexi, dipping the cup in the punch bowl. We all yearned to do another project together, to recreate the dream. Unfortunately it was not to be.
However, better once than never at all. What a wonderful person to have met.
Tom Kieffer
diana
Dear Tom, what a fabulous story. I’m thrilled that you took the time to write it. To think you named your son after Alexi because of that magical trip. Yes, he was fascinating to be around, watch his musings and enjoy his stories, not to mention his food choices. ‘Elixir of his wonderful mind’ — now that’s a phrase to remember. Can one see that film anywhere? Do you still make movies? I’ll show this comment to our son — he will treasure it. Thank You.
diana
For Peter Myrian, I’m so sorry I never got back to your query. Only saw it just now. For other stories about Alexis Ladas, try finding George Paspati’s memoir of the war years, Dead Reckoning, published in english in Athens. George is his rival in Falconera and his book deals with some of the same events, the adventures of the schooner flotilla in the eastern Aegean, but also describes — beautifully — their sojourn in jail under the Italians and happy days in Cairo. Also try to locate Alexis’ stories in Harper’s Magazine from the late 50s/early 60s. They are quite gripping.
Tom Kieffer
Hello Diana:
It was my pleasure. I wish I would have spent more time with it ( and proof read it). Your account of your time with Alexi was so evocative and well written it inspired me to write. I’m happy it reached you, and I hope you pass it on to Peter. I recall meeting him at least once in New York.
Alexi was a truly delight to hang out with, though I can appreciate how challenging it might have been to be married to him. I regret that I didn’t stay in contact with him longer. I believe the last time I saw him was in 1986 just after my daughter was born.
But it’s in the past now, and I have are wonderful and affectionate memories of him.
I continued making films for some time, then transitioned to educational multimedia. “Ancient Moderns” was perhaps my favorite project. Unfortunately, I don’t have it in a form that can be shared. I found a duplicate negative and magnetic audio track. I’ll check into the cost of having it transferred to digital. If I do, I will send you a copy. I’d like to see it again myself and share it with my children.
I’m recently retired now, and just beginning to sense new horizons opening up for me after years of single minded toil dedicated to raising and launching our children. You’re memoir and my response sparked a glow on that horizon. I feel free now to review my past and openly anticipate the future.
Best regards,
Tom