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Haunted by John James Audubon
“Naturally, this entire incident was deemed supernatural, the symbolic final good-bye from Mother, despite her somewhat graceless departure. The owl story became an instant family classic, one to be recounted every Mother’s Day…
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Trump to Salman, Trump to Salman
“Sandy, they’re all over me with this goddamned Ukraine thing, the Doral Club G 7, and the transcripts. Tell me you didn’t tape our Khashogi calls. If they find out it was my…
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Five-Minute Adventures in Speed Dating
“She: So then, I’d be the beard?/He: You’d be the beard, the mustache, and the eyebrows . . . anything with follicles. I’ll confess eventually, but for now it’s just easier to throw…
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John James Audubon is Haunting Me
“Naturally, this entire incident was deemed supernatural, the symbolic final good-bye from Mother, despite her somewhat graceless departure. The owl story became an instant family classic, one to be recounted every Mother’s Day…
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Naked, We Walked the Earth for Six Days, but Lo, On the Seventh, We Dressed (Best of Hubris))
“Our first opportunity to strip off outdoors presented itself during a holiday on St. Martin, where we discovered, along its vast coastline, Orient Bay, a world-renowned nude beach and resort where nudity is…
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Hollywood/Bollywood . . . It’s Only a Shower
“My shower ritual continued to evolve over the years, one thing added on another until it required a contoured, long-handled back scrubber, no-skid germ-resistant shower mats, scalp and hair rejuvenating gels, foot scrubbers,…
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Posing Nude for Life Drawing Class
“There is no ‘too fat,’ ‘too wrinkled,’ ‘too old,’ or ‘too’ anything in Life Drawing. I gathered from her explanation that, to the student, bodies are nothing more than still lifes, like flowers,…
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Trump Speaks at The International #MeToo Convention
“What a great-looking group! So many beautiful women . . . a few maybe not so beautiful, but generally a good-looking crowd. Good evening. Thank you for asking . . . me to…
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The Trump Saga: Part 477
“I’m a little embarrassed to tell you this, Sir, but some nights I have dreams, Mr. President, dreams of you as the baby Jesus, lying in the manger at Radio City Music Hall,…
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The Trump Saga: Part 257
“‘Mr. President . . . . Mr. President . . . it’s me, Jared,’ he says knocking tentatively on the White House master bedroom door. Getting no response, he carefully opens it to…