“I’ve never considered myself the equal of George du Maurier’s Svengali, able instantly to capture the heart and soul of any woman, nor are my good looks on the same terrace as Cary…

“In the 16th century, the Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León, (or J-Ponce as he was known to his maritime peeps) was onto something. He came in search of the Fountain of Youth…

“I believe it means Western capitalists. I learned it from my friend Aaron, a fighter from a land called Haifa. He blew himself up for the Taliban, although it was not intentional. He…

“I finally came face-to-face (mouth-to-ear) with the severity of my handicap a couple weeks ago while standing at the register at Whole foods. Through her mask, the plexi-shield, and the roar of shoppers…

“Today, after many classes where I was advised to think of each dance as a ‘three-minute love affair,’ and after scores of hours practicing in a studio, not to mention many, many nights…

“I stood at the register, waving a crisp double sawbuck around like Legs Diamond, finally gaining the attention of a pretty young thing who, hypnotized by my air of self-assured panache, ran over,…

“We ate, drank, and sang sea shanties while savoring wines from Santorini and waters from Newark. It was so pleasant to be waited on hand and foot after being constrained at home for…

“As we strolled past the recently erected Radio City Christmas tree last Monday, following a late lunch, at which, owing to our immoderate zest for the grape, we had both consumed quite a…

“With our windows open out onto West 52nd street, these days all we hear is the wailing and yelling of the mentally insane street people, wandering aimlessly, some begging the locals, already at…

“Naturally, this entire incident was deemed supernatural, the symbolic final good-bye from Mother, despite her somewhat graceless departure. The owl story became an instant family classic, one to be recounted every Mother’s Day…