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My Lovely Face (-Book)
“This question should automatically trigger your DELETE key but, since AI has yet to advance to that level of sophistication, I usually yield to my curiosity and follow through, just long enough to…
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Buddy Rich’s Cantonese Bass Player
“Then, the other guy came up and sounded pretty good, good enough that Buddy allowed him to finish the remainder of the set. Afterward, Buddy hired him, with the hope that he would…
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Baron Konikoff, Tinseltown Svengali
“I’ve never considered myself the equal of George du Maurier’s Svengali, able instantly to capture the heart and soul of any woman, nor are my good looks on the same terrace as Cary…
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The Fountain of Middle Age
“In the 16th century, the Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León, (or J-Ponce as he was known to his maritime peeps) was onto something. He came in search of the Fountain of Youth…
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Underground Afghanistan Gay Five-Minute Dating
“I believe it means Western capitalists. I learned it from my friend Aaron, a fighter from a land called Haifa. He blew himself up for the Taliban, although it was not intentional. He…
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What Sorry Beef Fondue, Huh!
“I finally came face-to-face (mouth-to-ear) with the severity of my handicap a couple weeks ago while standing at the register at Whole foods. Through her mask, the plexi-shield, and the roar of shoppers…
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My Three-Minute Love Affairs
“Today, after many classes where I was advised to think of each dance as a ‘three-minute love affair,’ and after scores of hours practicing in a studio, not to mention many, many nights…
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Pandemic Pastrami
“I stood at the register, waving a crisp double sawbuck around like Legs Diamond, finally gaining the attention of a pretty young thing who, hypnotized by my air of self-assured panache, ran over,…
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Midtown Loup de Mer
“We ate, drank, and sang sea shanties while savoring wines from Santorini and waters from Newark. It was so pleasant to be waited on hand and foot after being constrained at home for…
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The Saw-Whet Saga
“As we strolled past the recently erected Radio City Christmas tree last Monday, following a late lunch, at which, owing to our immoderate zest for the grape, we had both consumed quite a…