Author Archives: Burt Kempner

Burt Kempner has worked as a scriptwriter in New York, Philadelphia, Washington, DC, and Florida. His work has won numerous major awards, and has been seen by groups ranging in size from a national television audience in the United States to a half-dozen Maori chieftains in New Zealand. His documentaries have appeared on PBS, the Discovery Channel, the History Channel, CNBC, and European and Asian TV networks. He has two dogs, a cat, a wife and a son and is randomly kind to them all. More recently, Kempner has written three rather subversive books for children: Larry the Lazy Blue Whale, Monty the Movie Star Moose and The Five Fierce Tigers of Rosa Martinez. Visit his Amazon author page: amazon.com/author/burtkempner

Beached (Best of Hubris)

“My people are dying,” said the whale. “Our only salvation lies in becoming land animals again. Each time the dolphins and we beach ourselves, we get a little farther inland. I’ve gone past where my father got and he outdistanced his own father. Eventually we will walk upon the Earth once more.”—Burt Kempner Pinhead Angel  […]

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Flights of Fancy

“Have you ever been on a train as it slowed through a town, and made up stories about the people living in the houses you’re passing by? Have you refused to abandon your imaginary friends from childhood, except now you call them characters?”—Burt Kempner Pinhead Angel  By Burt Kempner GAINESVILLE Florida—(Weekly Hubris)—April 2019—Have you ever […]

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Under Control

“Here is what the men, women and children in the town were thinking behind their smiles: ‘Wave, you old fool! Good. Now touch your fingers to the bill of your cap and give us a nice salute. Listen, you blockhead. Order your driver to stop so you can accept the bouquet from the little girl. […]

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Rewilding

“I grieve to think of a world where the tiger’s tread is felt no more, where the elephant’s trumpeting is only a faint echo. The wholesale loss of wildlife doesn’t mean fewer National Geographic specials. It will further fray the slender lifeline that tethers us to our spiritual home.” — Burt Kempner Pinhead Angel  By […]

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Beached

“My people are dying,” said the whale. “Our only salvation lies in becoming land animals again. Each time the dolphins and we beach ourselves, we get a little farther inland. I’ve gone past where my father got and he outdistanced his own father. Eventually we will walk upon the Earth once more.”—Burt Kempner Pinhead Angel  […]

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No Good Deed . . .

“Marie was organizing a photo shoot over the week-end in which a number of women would disrobe and hold sample ballot forms over their lady parts. The caption of the photo was a play on Donald Trump’s infamous ‘grab ‘em by the pussy’ line, and the intent was to urge women to vote for candidates […]

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When I’m Gone

“The earth’s supply of beauty is diminishing./Add to it what you can and say/I do this in memory of my friend, my loved one./I do it so that his light remains between two worlds.”—Burt Kempner Pinhead Angel  By Burt Kempner GAINESVILLE Florida—(Weekly Hubris)—November 2018— When I’m Gone By Burt Kempner When I’m gone, Don’t just […]

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Hope Triumphant

“Over the next few generations, more and more of the Baal Shem Tov’s miracle-making ritual was forgotten, so when the fourth Hasidic leader was told a now-familiar tale of woe, he was crestfallen. ‘Alas,’ he said. ‘We are a diminished people. I don’t know the chant, I can’t build a fire, and I have no […]

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The Kindness Of Strangers (Best of “Hubris”)

  Pinhead Angel  By Burt Kempner “A frozen tableau right off the frozen food aisle: Jamie, holding out his credit card, the open-jawed clerk and Yours Truly glancing down as if my package of sun-dried tomatoes contained the answer.”—Burt Kempner GAINESVILLE Florida—(Weekly Hubris)—December 19, 2016—“I could watch you shop all day.” That was a new […]

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The Kindness Of Perfect Strangers

“‘Your groceries. I’d like to pay for them.’ Check for hidden camera. None in sight. ‘But . . . why?’ ‘It’s something I do.’” —Burt Kempner Pinhead Angel By Burt Kempner  GAINESVILLE Florida—(Weekly Hubris)—12/7/2015—“I could watch you shop all day.” That was a new one. When you reach a certain age, pick-up lines mutate from, […]

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